Authentic Mark Twain Quotations That Linked To Credible Sources

This is the only site which published authentic Mark Twain quotes that linked to the actual sources.

I don’t just mentioned the source of each quote, I linked to it, so you can actually see the very line as published.

Mind you, I do not use any random books, magazines or websites as sources.

I made sure the sources are credible.

As you know there are lots of Mark Twain misquotes out there.

Mark Twain was an American author and humorist who is well-known for his novels “Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” and “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer“.

In his life time, he wrote many profound and witty words of wisdom in his time.
This Missouri native writer is known for his keen wit and incisive satire.

Who doesn’t enjoy his many aphorisms, quips, witticisms, insights and epiphanies.

authentic Mark Twain quotationsAuthentic Mark Twain Quotations

Below are just some great authentic Mark Twain quotes which are easy to understand and insightful.


Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” – Mark Twain

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(This quote is also found in: )


Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.” – Mark Twain

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest(Note written on a card sent to the Young People’s Society, Greenpoint Presbyterian Church, Brooklyn, New York, February 16, 1901) (visual source)


Each person is born to one possession which out values all his others- his last breath.” – Mark Twain

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(This quote is also found in:
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The man with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds.” – Mark Twain

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(You can also find this quote in: )


“A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.” – Mark Twain

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(This quote is also found in:)

(Another source of this quote is here.)


“By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man’s, I mean.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens), Hartford, Connecticut, American Publishing Co., 1897, Ch.XXXIX, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar; p.357)

(This quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World
By Mark Twain, Courier Corporation, 2011, Ch. XXXIX, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar; p.357)


“The critic’s symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else’s dung, otherwise he could not hatch it.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch.XXXV, Closing Years; p.392)

(This quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Notebook Prepared For Publication With Comments By Albert Bigelow Paine, Scholarly Press, 1971, Ch.XXXV, Closing Years; p.392)


“The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one’s clothes.” – Mark Twain

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(This quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Speeches, Jazzybee Verlag, 1929, University Settlement Society, Settlement House, February 2, 1901; p.50)

(Another source of this quote: Speech at Annual Meeting, University Settlement Society”, New York, January 2, 1901, Mark Twain’s Speeches Part 2, University of Iowa Press, Section 87; 0:59-1:10)


“It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden.” – Mark Twain

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(This quote is also found in: T)


“Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna; p.345)

(You can also find this quote in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches By Mark Twain, e-artnow, 2017)


“What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXIII, Back In America; p.379)

(You can also find this quote in: )


“When in doubt tell the truth.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain’s Speeches, Harper & Brothers, 1910, To The Whitefriars, Whitefriars Club, June 20, 1899; p.383)

(This quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Speeches, Jazzybee Verlag, 1929, To The Whitefriars, Whitefriars Club, June 20, 1899; p.137)

(Another source of this quote is:  The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXI, European Residence; p.237)


Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, ch. XXXI, In Vienna; p.345)

(You can also find this quote in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches By Mark Twain, e-artnow, 2017)


“Honesty is the best policy – when there is money in it.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain’s Speeches, Harper & Brothers, 1910, Business, Alumni Of Eastman College, Y.M.C.A. Building, March 30, 1901; p.342)

(This quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Speeches, Jazzybee Verlag, 1929, Business, Alumni Of Eastman College, Y.M.C.A. Building, March 30, 1901; p.122)


“To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World by Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens), Hartford, Connecticut, American Publishing Co., 1897, The Pudd’NHead Maxims)

(This quote is also found in: Following the Equator By Mark Twain, Trajectory Inc, 2014, The Pudd’NHead Maxims; Dedication)


“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then Success is sure.” – Mark Twain

(Autobiography With Letters By William Lyon Phelps, Oxford University Press, 1939, 9 Early Friendships, Mark Twain, Billiards, A Letter Mark Twain wrote Mrs. Mary Hallock Foote, p.66)


“…the lack of money is the root of all evil.” – Mark Twain

(The Devil’s Race-track: Mark Twain’s Great Dark Writings : The Best From Which Was The Dream? And Fables Of Man by Mark Twain, Edited By John Sutton Tuckey, University Of California Press, 1980, The Refuge Of The Derelicts, Ch.8, George’s Diary – Continued; p.337)


“If you wish to lower yourself in a person’s favor, one good way is to tell his story over again, the way you heard it.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch.XXXI, In Vienna; p.345)

(This quote is also found in: Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch.XXXI, In Vienna)


“On the whole, it is better to deserve honors and not have them than to have them and not deserve them.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, ch. XXXI, In Vienna; p.380)

(You can also find this quote in: The Complete Works of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna; p.380)


“Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain, A Biography, 1835-1910, Complete by Albert Bigelow Paine, Harper, 1912, Ch. CCXCII, The Voyage Home)

(This quote is also found in: Mark Twain: A Biography, 1835-1910, Complete The Personal and Literary Life of Samuel Langhorne Clemens by Albert Bigelow Paine, Vol. III, Part 2: 1907-1910, Harper, 1912, Ch. CCXCII, The Voyage Home)


“…when a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people.” – Mark Twain

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(The quote is also found in: The Autobiography Of Mark Twain: Including Chapters Now Published For The First Time, With An Introduction And Notes By Charles Neider, Chatto & Windus, 1960, P. 187)


“…there was never yet an uninteresting life. Such a thing is an impossibility. Inside of the dullest exterior there is a drama, a comedy, and a tragedy.” – Mark Twain

(The Devil’s Race-track: Mark Twain’s Great Dark Writings, The Best From Which Was The Dream? And Fables Of Man By Mark Twain, Edited By John Sutton Tuckey, University of California Press, 1980, Ch.4, From George’s Diary, A Week Later, The Refuge Of The Derelicts, P. 317)

(The quote is also found in: )


“Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to.” – Mark Twain

(Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World by Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens), Hartford, Connecticut, American Publishing Co., 1897, Ch.XXVII, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar, P. 256)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World by Mark Twain, Jazzybee Verlag, 1971, Ch.XXVII, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar, P. 115)


“Classic” A book which people praise and don’t read.” – Mark Twain

(Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World by Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens), Hartford, Connecticut, American Publishing Co., 1897, Ch.XXV, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar, P. 241)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World by Mark Twain, ReadHowYouWant.com, 2008, Ch.XXV, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar, P. 276)


Education consists mainly in what we have unlearned.” – Mark Twain

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(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches By Mark Twain, e-artnow, 2017, Mark Twain’s Notebook, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna)


“The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer somebody else up.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXVII, England, P. 310)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches By Mark Twain, e-artnow, 2017, Mark Twain’s Notebook, Ch. XXVII, England)


“Dying man couldn’t make up his mind which place to go to — both have their advantages, ‘heaven for climate, hell for company!'” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain’s Notebooks & Journals, Volume III: (1883-1891) By Mark Twain, Edited By Robert Pack Browning, Michael Barry Frank, Lin Salamo, Frederick Anderson, University Of California Press, 1980, Notebook 29, P. 538)


“To create man was a quaint and original idea, but to add the sheep was tautology.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXIII, Back In America, P. 379)

(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain: Collected Tales, Sketches, Speeches & Essays: 1891-1910, Library of America, 1992, Ch.XXXIII, Back In America, P. 946)


“Noise proves nothing, Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she had laid an asteroid.” – Mark Twain

(Following the Equator: A Journey Around the World by Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens), Hartford, Connecticut, American Publishing Co., 1897, Ch.V, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar, P. 77)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Jazzybee Verlag, 1971, Ch.V, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar, P. 26)


“Supposing is good, but finding out is better.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain in eruption: Hitherto Unpublished Pages About Men And Events, Harpers And Brothers, 1940; p.324)

(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain in Eruption (Abridged, Annotated) By Mark Twain, Big Byte Books, 2016, The Last Visit To England, 2. Marie Corelli)

(Another book of the quote is: Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 3: The Complete and Authoritative Edition, Volume 3 by Mark Twain, Edited By Benjamin Griffin, Harriet Elinor Smith, University Of California Press, 2015, Dictated August 16, 1907, The Luncheon with Marie Corelli, P. 98)


Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear — not absence of fear.” – Mark Twain

(The Tragedy Of Pudd’nHead Wilson And The Comedy Those Extraordinary Twins by Mark Twain, Hartford, Conn., American Publishing Co., 1897, Ch.XII, Puddn’head Wilson’s Calendar, P. 155)

(The quote is also found in: The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson By Mark Twain, Jazzybee Verlag, 1980, Ch.12, The Shame Of Judge Driscoll, P. 39)


“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain In eruption: Hitherto Unpublished Pages About Men And Events, Harpers And Brothers, 1940, P. 69)


“Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the person involved.” – Mark Twain

(The Tragedy of Pudd’nHead Wilson And The Comedy Those Extraordinary Twins by Mark Twain, Hartford, Conn., American Publishing Co., 1897, Ch.IX, Puddn’head Wilson’s Calendar, P. 111)

(The quote is also found in: The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson By Mark Twain, Jazzybee Verlag, 1980, Ch.9, Tom Practices Scophancy, Puddn’head Wilson’s Calendar, P. 39)


“Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.” – Mark Twain

(The Tragedy of Pudd’nHead Wilson And The Comedy Those Extraordinary Twins By Mark Twain, Hartford, Conn., American Publishing Co., 1897, Ch.VI, Puddn’head Wilson’s Calendar, P. 77)

(The quote is also found in: The Tragedy of Pudd’nhead Wilson By Mark Twain, BoD – Books on Demand, 2018, CH 6, Swimming In Glory, Puddn’head Wilson’s Calendar, P. 25)


“The first half of it consists of the capacity to enjoy without the chance; the last half consists of the chance without the capacity. ”  – Mark Twain

(The Letters Of Mark Twain, Volumes 5-6 (1901-1906 & 1907-1910) By Mark Twain, 1st World Publishing, 2004, To Edward L. Dimmitt, In St. Louis: Among The Adirondacks Lakes, July 19, 1901, P. 16)

(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Letters, Volume 2, Arranged With Comment By Albert Bigelow Paine, Harper & Brothers, 1917, To Edward L. Dimmitt, In St. Louis: Among The Adirondacks Lakes, July 19, 1901, P. 709)


“Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.” – Mark Twain

(Following the Equator: A Journey Around The World by Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens), Hartford, Connecticut, American Publishing Co., 1897, Ch.XXI, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar, P. 206)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World
By Mark Twain, Courier Corporation, 2011, Ch. XXI, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar, P. 206)


Faith is believing what you know ain’t so.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain (Samuel L. Clemens), Hartford, Connecticut, American Publishing Co., 1897, Ch.XII, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar, P. 132)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World
By Mark Twain, Courier Corporation, 2011, Ch. XII, Pudd’nhead Wilson’s New Calendar, P. 132)


“Wit, by itself, is of little account. It becomes of moment only when grounded on wisdom.” – Mark Twain

(Abroad With Mark Twain And Eugene Field: Tales They Told To A Fellow Correspondent By Henry W. Fisher, Nicholas L.Brown, New York, 1922, Stray Sayings Of Mark, Talks At The Berlin Legation, P. 218)

(The quote is also found in: )


“Circumstances make man, not man circumstances.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXIII, Back In America, P. 379)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches By Mark Twain, e-artnow, 2017, Mark Twain’s Notebook, Ch. XXXIII, Back In America)


“The man who is a pessimist before 48 knows too much; if he is an optimist after it, he knows too little.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXIII, Back In America, P. 380)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches By Mark Twain, e-artnow, 2017, Mark Twain’s Notebook, Ch. XXXIII, Back In America)


“There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist.” – Mak Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXIV, Italy Again, P. 385)

(The quote is also found in: The Essential Mark Twain: 200+ Novels & Short Stories In One Volume (Illustrated Edition), Musaicum Books, 2017, Mark Twain’s Notebook, Ch. XXXIV, Italy Again)


“When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what he doesn’t know.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXIV, Italy Again, P. 385)

(The quote is also found in: )


“Name the greatest of all the inventors. Accident.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXIII, Back In America, P. 374)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches By Mark Twain, e-artnow, 2017, Mark Twain’s Notebook,Ch. XXXIII, Back In America)


“Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first greatbenefactor of our race. He brought death into the world.” – Mark Twain

(The Tragedy Of Pudd’NHead Wilson And The Comedy Those Extraordinary Twins By Mark Twain, Hartford, Conn. American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.III, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 41)

(The quote is also found in: The Tragedy Of Pudd’NHead Wilson By Mark Twain, BookRix, 2018, Section 3, Roxy Plays A Shrewd Trick, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar)


“What a good thing Adam had – when he said a good thing he knew nobody had said it before.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. VI, Beginning A Literary Epoch, P. 67)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain (Illustrated Edition): Novels, Short Short Stories, Memoir, Travel Books, Letters, Biography, Articles & Speeches By Mark Twain, e-artnow, 2017, Mark Twain’s Notebook, Ch. VI, Beginning A Literary Epoch)


“Praise is well, compliment is well, but affection – that is the last and final and most precious reward that any man can win, whether by character or achievement…” – Mark Twain

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(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Speeches By Mark Twain, Jazzybee Verlag, 1929, Authors, And Hats, Pilgrim’s Club Luncheon, Savoy Hotel, June 25, 1907, P. 18)


“…age is not determined by years, but by trouble and by infirmities of mind and body…” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain’s Speeches, Harper & Brothers, 1910, Books, Unconscious Plagiarism, “The Atlantic Monthly” Dinner, August 29, 1879, P. 58)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Travel Books, Anecdotes & Memoirs Of Mark Twain (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Unconscious Plagiarism, “The Atlantic Monthly” Dinner, August 29, 1879)

(Another source of the quote is found in: The Atlantic Monthly Volume 45, Atlantic Monthly Company, 1880, P. 288)


Life should begin with age and its privileges and accumulations, and end with youth and its capacity to splendidly enjoy such advantages.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain’s Letters (1853-1910) By Mark Twain, Jazzybee Verlag, 1929, To Edward L. Dimmitt, In St. Louis: Among The Adirondacks Lakes, July 19, 1901, P. 709)

(The quote is also found in: The Letters Of Mark Twain, Volumes 5-6 1901-1906 & 1907-1910, By Mark Twain, Arranged With Comment By Albert Bigelow Paine, First World Publishing, 2004, To Edward L. Dimmitt, In St. Louis: Among TheAdirondacks Lakes, July 19, 1901, P. 16)


“When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.” – Mark Twain

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(The quote is also found in: The Tragedy Of Pudd’nhead Wilson By Mark Twain, BookRix, 2018, Section 10, The Nymph Revealed, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar)


“Concerning the difference between man and the jackass: some observers hold that there isn’t any. But this wrongs the jackass.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna, P. 347)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Novels, Short Stories, Memoirs, Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna)


“My books are water: those of the great geniuses are wine. Everybody drinks water.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XIX, Turbulent Years, P. 190)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Novels, Short Stories, Memoirs, Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch. XIX, Turbulent Years)


“Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXVII, England, P. 306)

(The quote is also found in: Following the Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Jazzybee Verlag, 1971 Ch. XXIII, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 99)


“…conscience, man’s moral medicine chest…” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain’s Autobiography In 2 Volumes, Volume 2 By Mark Twain, With An Introduction By Albert Bigelow Paine, Harper & Brothers, 1924, The Character Of Man)

(The quote is also found in: The Writings Of Mark Twain, Volume 37 By Mark Twain, Edited By Albert Bigelow Paine, Gabriel Wells, 1925, P. 8)

(Another source of the quote is found in: Mark Twain’s Autobiography, Volume 2 By Mark Twain, With An Introduction By Albert Bigelow Paine, Harper & Brothers, 1924, The Character Of Man, P. 8)


“An uneasy conscience is a hair in the mouth.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXV, Closing Years, P. 392)

(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Notebook By Mark Twain, Edited By Albert Bigelow Paine, Scholarly Press, 1971, Ch. XXXV, Closing Years, P. 392)


“There is no such thing as material covetousness. All covetousness is spiritual…” – Mark Twain

(What Is Man? And Other Essays By Mark Twain, Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1917, What Is Man?, Not Two Values, But Only One, P. 93)

(The quote is also found in: What Is Man? And Other Essays By Mark Twain, New York: Dover Publication Inc., 2019, What Is Man?, Not Two Values, But Only One, P. 59)


“There are several good protections against temptations but the surest is cowardice.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Hartford American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.XXXVI, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 324)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, The Floating Press, 2009, Ch.XXXVI, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 304)


“I like criticism, but it must be my way.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain’s Autobiography In 2 Volumes, Volume 2 By Mark Twain, With An Introduction By Albert Bigelow Paine, Harper & Brothers, 1924, Bad Advice In A Car)

(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Autobiography, Volume 2 By Mark Twain, Harper & Brothers, 1924, Bad Advice In A Car, P. 247)


“If a critic should start a religion it would not have any object but to convert angels, and they wouldn’t need it.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain A Biography, The Personal And Literary Life Of Samuel Langhorne Clemens By Albert Bigelow Paine, Three Volumes, Vol. II, Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1912, Ch. CLXXII, The “Yankee” In England, P. 894)

(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain, A Biography: The Personal And Literary Life Of Samuel Langhorne Clemens, Volume 2 By Albert Bigelow Paine, Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1912, P. 894)


“Often, the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it.” – Mark Twain

(The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer By Mark Twain, The American Publishing Company, 1876, Ch. V, A Useful Minister, P. 55)

(The quote is also found in: The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer By Mark Twain, Leipzig Bernhard Tauchnitz, 1876, Ch. V, P. 53)


“Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else. This is not advice. It is merely custom.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna, P. 347)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Novels, Short Stories, Memoirs, Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna)


“It is easier to stay out than get out.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna, P. 347)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Novels, Short Stories, Memoirs, Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna)


“There are many scapegoats for our blunders, but the most popular one is Providence.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna, P. 347)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Novels, Short Stories, Memoirs, Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch. XXXI, In Vienna)


“Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Hartford American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.XIX, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 184)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World, By Mark Twain, The Floating Press, 2009, Ch.XIX, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 168)


“Each race determines for itself what indecencies are. Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXV, Leaving India, P. 288)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Novels, Short Stories, Memoirs, Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch. XXV, Leaving India)


“We adore titles and heredities in our hearts, and ridicule them with our mouths. This is our Democratic privilege.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain’s Autobiography In 2 Volumes, Volume 2 By Mark Twain, With An Introduction By Albert Bigelow Paine, Harper & Brothers, 1924, Wednesday, April 11, 1906)

(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Autobiography, Volume 2 By Mark Twain, Aegitas, 2015, April 11, 1906)


“The dictionary says a carbuncle is a kind of jewel. Humor is out of place in a dictionary.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Hartford American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.I, P. 25)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World, By Mark Twain, Jazzybee Verlag, 1971, Ch.I, P. 1)


“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get thenews to you.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Hartford American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.XLV, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 410)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World, By Mark Twain, Jazzybee Verlag, 1971, Ch.XLV, P. 193)


“Man will do many things to get himself loved, he will do all things to get himself envied.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Hartford American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.XXI, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 206)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Courier Corporation, 2011, Ch.XXI, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 206)


“…when a person knows how to use his eyes, everything has got a meaning to it; but most people’s eyes ain’t any good to them.” – Mark Twain

(Tom Sawyer Abroad By Huck Finn, Edited By Mark Twain, Charles L. Webster & Company, 1894, Ch.VII, Tom Respects The Flea, P. 113)

(Tom Sawyer Abroad, Tom Sawyer, Detective And Other Stories By Mark Twain, Harper & Brothers, 1896, P. 53)


“Fame is a vapor; popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. X, Egypt And Home, Washington, P. 114)

(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Notebook By Mark Twain, Harper & Brothers, 1935, Ch. X, Egypt And Home, Washington, P. 114)


“Familiarity breeds contempt – and children.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXI, European Residence, P. 237)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Novels, Short Stories, Memoirs, Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch. XXI, European Residence)


“Let us be thankful for the fools. But for them the rest of us could not succeed.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Hartford American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.XXVIII, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 268)

(The quote is also found in: Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, The Floating Press, 2009, Ch.XXVIII, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 247)


“…the more things are forbidden, the more popular they become.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXIII, Australia And New Zealand, Prohibition, P. 257)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Novels, Short Stories, Memoirs, Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch. XXIII, Australia And New Zealand, Prohibition)


“An enemy can partly ruin a man, but it takes a good-natured injudicious friend to complete the thing and make it perfect.” – Mark Twain

(The Tragedy Of Pudd’NHead Wilson And The Comedy Those Extraordinary Twins By Mark Twain, Hartford, Conn. American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.V, P. 71)

(The quote is also found in: The Tragedy Of Pudd’nhead Wilson By Mark Twain, BookRix, 2018, The Twins Thrill Dawson’s Landing)


“Hunger is the handmaid of genius.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Hartford American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.XLIII, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 392)

(The quote is also found in: The Writings Of Mark Twain: Following The Equator; A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Harper And Brothers, 1809, Ch. VII, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 76)


“If God is what people say there can be no one in the universe so unhappy as He; for He sees unceasingly myriads of His creatures suffering unspeakable miseries–and besides this foresees how they are going to suffer during the remainder of their lives.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XVIII, The Grant Book, P. 182)

(The quote is also found in: The Essential Mark Twain: 200+ Novels & Short Stories In One Volume By Mark Twain, Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch. XVIII, The Grant Book)


“Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute.” – Mark Twain

(What Is Man? And Other Philosophical Writings By Mark Twain, Edited With An Introduction By Paul Baender, University of California Press, 1973, Ch. 12. Man’s Place In The Animal World, 1896, P. 85)

(The quote is also found in: The Lowest Animal By Mark Twain, P. 3)


“Indecency, vulgarity, obscenity (these are strictly confined to man); he invented them.” – Mark Twain

(What Is Man? And Other Philosophical Writings By Mark Twain, Edited With An Introduction By Paul Baender, University of California Press, 1973, Ch. 12. Man’s Place In The Animal World, 1896, P. 83)

(The quote is also found in: The Lowest Animal By Mark Twain, P. 2)


“Man is The Animal that Laughs. But so does the monkey, as Mr. Darwin pointed out; and so does the Australian bird that is called the laughing jackass.” – Mark Twain

(What Is Man? And Other Philosophical Writings By Mark Twain, Edited With An Introduction By Paul Baender, University of California Press, 1973, Ch. 12. Man’s Place In The Animal World, 1896, P. 83)

(The quote is also found in: The Lowest Animal By Mark Twain, P. 2)


“Man is the only Slave. And he is the only animal who enslaves. He has always been a slave in one form or another, and has always held other slaves in bondage under him in one way or another.” – Mark Twain

()

(The quote is also found in: The Lowest Animal By Mark Twain, P. 3)


“Of all the animals, man is the only one that is cruel. He is the only one that inflicts pain for the pleasure of doing it.” – Mark Twain

(What Is Man? And Other Philosophical Writings By Mark Twain, Edited With An Introduction By Paul Baender, University of California Press, 1973, Ch. 12. Man’s Place In The Animal World, 1896, P. 84)

(The quote is also found in: The Lowest Animal By Mark Twain, P. 2)


“Man was made at the end of the week’s work, when God was tired.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch. XXXIII, Back In America, P. 381)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Novels, Short Stories, Memoirs, Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch. XXXIII, Back In America)


“Of course no man is entirely in his right mind at any time…” – Mark Twain

(The Mysterious Stranger: A Romance By Mark Twain, Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1916, Ch.X, P. 140)

(The quote is also found in: The Mysterious Stranger By Mark Twain, Edited With An Introduction By William M. Gibson, University Of California, 1970, Ch.10, The Chronicle Of Young Satan, P. 164)


“…sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.” – Mark Twain

(The Mysterious Stranger: A Romance By Mark Twain, Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1916, Ch.X, P. 140)

(The quote is also found in: The Mysterious Stranger By Mark Twain, Edited With An Introduction By William M. Gibson, University Of California, 1970, Ch.10, The Chronicle Of Young Satan, PP. 163-4)


“No sane man can be happy, for to him life is real, and he sees what a fearful thing it is.” – Mark Twain

(The Mysterious Stranger: A Romance By Mark Twain, Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1916, Ch.X, P. 140)

(The quote is also found in: The Mysterious Stranger By Mark Twain, Edited With An Introduction By William M. Gibson, University Of California, 1970, Ch.10, The Chronicle Of Young Satan, P. 164)


“When we remember that we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch.XXXI, In Vienna, P. 345)

(The quote is also found in: )


“It is just like man’s vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions.” – Mark Twain

(What Is man? And other Essays By Mark Twain, Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1917, VI. Instinct And Thought, P. 84)

(The quote is also found in: What Is Man? And Other Philosophical Writings By Mark Twain, Edited With An Introduction By Paul Baender, University of California Press, 1973, Ch. 20. What Is Man?, 6. Instinct And Thought, P. 195)


“The average man’s a coward.” – Mark Twain

(The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn (Tom Sawyer’s Comrade) By Mark Twain, Harpers & Brothers Publishers, 1884, Ch.XXII, P. 195)

(The quote is also found in: The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn By Mark Twain, First Avenue Editions, 2014, Ch.XXII, P. 210)


“One never ceases to make a hero of one’s self (in private)” – Mark Twain

(The Gilded Age A Tale Of Today By Mark Twain And Charles Dudley Warner, Hartford: American Publishing Company, 1874, Ch.X, Unexpectedly A Heroine, P. 104)

(The quote is also found in: The Gilded Age A Tale Of Today By Mark Twain And Charles Dudley Warner, Hartford: American Publishing Company, 1874, Ch.X, Unexpectedly A Heroine, P. 104)


“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.” – Mark Twain

(The Tragedy Of Pudd’NHead Wilson And The Comedy Those Extraordinary Twins By Mark Twain, Hartford, Conn. American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.XVI, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 214)

(The quote is also found in: The Tragedy Of Pudd’NHead Wilson By Mark Twain, BookRix, 2018, Section 3, Sold Down The River, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar)


“…virtue never has been as respectable as money.” – Mark Twain

(The Innocents Abroad By Mark Twain, Harpers & Brothers Publishers, 1911, Ch.XXVIII, P. 368)

(The quote is also found in: The Innocents Abroad, Or, The New Pilgrim’s Progress By Mark Twain, George Robertson, 1871, Ch.LV, Lazarus, P. 344)


“We have to be despised by somebody whom we regard as above us, or we are not happy; we have to have somebody to worship and envy, or we cannot be content.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain in Eruption (Abridged, Annotated) by Mark Twain, Big Byte Books, 2016, The Plutocracy, 1. The Drift Toward Centralized Power (December 13, 1906)

(The quote is also found in: Autobiography of Mark Twain, Volume 2 By Mark Twain, Edited By Benjamin Griffin And Harriet Elinor Smith, University Of California, 2013, December 13, 1906, P. 314)


“Prosperity is the best protector of principle.” – Mark Twain

(Following The Equator: A Journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Hartford American Publishing Company, 1897, Ch.XXXVIII, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 345)

(The quote is also found in: The Writings Of Mark Twain: Following The equator; A journey Around The World By Mark Twain, Harper And Brothers, 1809, Ch. II, Pudd’Nhead Wilson’s Calendar, P. 23)


“Blasphemy? No, it is not blasphemy. If God is as vast as that, he is above blasphemy; if He is as little as that, He is beneath it.” – Mark Twain

(Mark Twain, A Biography, 1835-1910, Complete, The Personal And Literary Life Of Samuel Langhorne Clemens By Albert Bigelow Paine, Gabriel Wells, 1923, Ch. CCLII. Theology And Evolution, P. 108)

(The quote is also found in: )


“…war talk by men who have been in a war is always interesting; whereas moon talk by a poet who has not been in the moon is likely to be dull.” – Mark Twain

(Life On The Mississippi By Mark Twain, James R. Osgood And Company, 1883, Ch. XLV, PP. 456-7)

(The quote is also found in: Life on the Mississippi By Mark Twain, Bantam, 1977, Ch. XLV, P. 213)


“…an ecstasy is a thing that will not go into words; it feels like music, and one cannot tell about music so that another person can get the feeling of it.” – Mark Twain

(The Mysterious Stranger: A Romance By Mark Twain, Harper & Brothers Publishers, 1916, Ch.III, P. 25)

(The quote is also found in: The Mysterious Stranger By Mark Twain, The Floating Press, 2010, Ch.3, P. 28)


“The unspoken word is capital. We can invest it or we can squander it.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch.XXXI, In Vienna, P. 345)

(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Notebook By Mark Twain, Edited By Albert Bigelow Paine, Scholarly Press, 1971, Ch.XXXI, In Vienna, P. 345)


“God’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch.XXXI, In Vienna, P. 344)

(The quote is also found in: Mark Twain’s Notebook By Mark Twain, Edited By Albert Bigelow Paine, Scholarly Press, 1971, Ch.XXXI, In Vienna, P. 344)


“Human nature is the same everywhere; it deifies success, it has nothing but scorn for defeat.” – Mark Twain

()

(The quote is also found in: Personal Recollections of Joan of Arc By Mark Twain, Courier Corporation, 2012, Ch.VIII, P. 44)


“Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink.” – Mark Twain

(The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Mark Twain’s Notebook, Harper & Bros New York, 1935, Ch.XXXI, In Vienna, P. 344)

(The quote is also found in: The Complete Works Of Mark Twain: Novels, Short Stories, Memoirs, Travel Books, Letters & More (Illustrated), Musaicum Books, 2017, Ch.XXXI, In Vienna)


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