Funny Cute Sayings About Life Make You Laugh To Yourself

Mark Twain said,”Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.” And Oscar Wilde said, “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.”

We all have heard, read or even experienced it ourselves to know that life is in fact stranger than fiction. Many a time, where we came across a real life situation that either shocked or tickled you.

You just couldn’t believe yourself, that such a true situation actually happen.

Whatever it is, here is a list of funny cute sayings about life that make you laugh to yourself while you read them.

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done. – Steven Wright

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. – Josh Billings

If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner. – Tallulah Bankhead

We are all born mad. Some remain so. – Samuel Beckett

I’m like old wine. They don’t bring me out very often – but I’m well preserved. – Rose Kennedy

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known. – Walt Disney

I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time. – Charles M. Schulz

I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. – Bertrand Russell

My one regret in life is that I am not someone else. – Woody Allen

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. – Joan Rivers

I don’t deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don’t deserve that either. – Jack Benny

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first. – George Carlin

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. – Jane Wagner

Man cannot live by bread alone; he must have peanut butter. – James A. Garfield

If at first you don’t succeed, find out if the loser gets anything. – William Lyon Phelps

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it. – Groucho Marx

A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. – George Bernard Shaw

Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for. – Will Rogers

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. – Rita Rudner

I used to be Snow White, but I driftedI used to be Snow White, but I drifted. – Mae West

A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, ‘At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.’ – Claude Pepper

If at first you don’t succeed… so much for skydiving. – Henny Youngman

Never put a sock in a toaster. – Eddie Izzard

I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives. – Billy Connolly

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. – H. L. Mencken

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet. – Saint Augustine

All men are equal before fish. – Herbert Hoover

If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents. – Marcelene Cox

I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her. – Rodney Dangerfield

That’s my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard. – Joe Rogan

If you want to be thought a liar, always tell the truth. – Logan Pearsall Smith

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. – P. G. Wodehouse

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me. – Warren Buffett

The best measure of a man’s honesty isn’t his income tax return. It’s the zero adjust on his bathroom scale. – Arthur C. Clarke

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle. – Mitch Hedberg

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. – Jay Leno

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime. – Red Skelton

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! – Steve Martin

People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant. – Ellen DeGeneres

Christopher Columbus, as everyone knows, is honored by posterity because he was the last to discover America. – James Joyce

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution? – H. L. Mencken

You can always tell when a man’s well informed. His views are pretty much like your own. – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

I love fools’ experiments. I am always making them. – Charles Darwin

I have never been hurt by what I have not said. – Calvin Coolidge

When God sneezed, I didn’t know what to say. – Henny Youngman

There’s nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you’re insightful about it. – Dennis Miller

I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don’t believe I deserved my friends. – Walt Whitman

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it. – Laurence J. Peter

The tax collector must love poor people, he’s creating so many of them. – Bill Vaughan

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. – Fred Allen

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last. – Oscar Wilde

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand. – Emo Philips

Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance? – Phyllis Diller

If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners. – Johnny Carson

TV is chewing gum for the eyes. – Frank Lloyd Wright

Before I refuse to take your questions, I have an opening statement. – Ronald Reagan

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass. – David Lee Roth

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink. – Joe E. Lewis

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well. – Robert Benchley

If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they’d never marry. – O. Henry

I don’t think anyone should write their autobiography until after they’re dead. – Samuel Goldwyn

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease. – Bill Maher

A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. – Groucho Marx

Never have more children than you have car windows. – Erma Bombeck

Every man’s dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands. – Jerry Lewis

The next time you have a thought… let it go. – Ron White

I rant, therefore I am. – Dennis Miller

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church. – Paul Lynde

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. – Joan Rivers

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. – Rodney Dangerfield

You’re only as good as your last haircut. – Fran Lebowitz

I read part of it all the way through. – Samuel Goldwyn

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around. – Thomas A. Edison

I have an unfortunate personality. – Orson Welles

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it. – Jerry Seinfeld

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think. – Milton Berle

If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. – Clint Eastwood

If it’s the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number? – Robin Williams

I don’t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear. – Woody Allen

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. – Don Marquis

The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. – Rodney Dangerfield

Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively. – Laurence J. Peter

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty. – Imelda Marcos

Experience is what you have after you’ve forgotten her name. – Milton Berle