Funny Sarcastic Quotes Leave You In Stitches

Let’s take a lighter look at some of these funny sarcastic quotes. I am sure you have that a little praise may go a long way, but insults go on forever.

Talking about sarcastic insults, there is no better book than “The Book of Poisonous Quotes” by Colin Jardin. You can find thousands of sarcastic quotes sayings loaded with wicked wits and stingy salvos.

According to the book, no one is safe here. Pillars of society are pilloried, authors written off, sports stars run down, celebrities defamed, financiers discredited and actors hamstrung.

"funny Sarcastic quotes"

These collection of sarcastic life quotes live up to the adage: The pen is definitely mightier than the sword.

These incisive and funny sarcastic quotes will leave you in stitches.

“Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you a member of  Congress, but I repeat myself.” – Mark Twain

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.” – A. B. Evans

“You don’t say civilization don’t advance – for every war they kill you a new way.” – Will Rogers

“The tongue is the only instrument that gets sharper with use.” – Colin Jarman

“Critics are the stupid who discuss the wise.” – Anonymous

“A critic is a man who writes about things he doesn’t like” – Anonymous

“I love criticism just as long as it’s unqualified praise.” – Noel Coward

“A critic is a man created to praise greater men than himself, but he is never able to find them.” – Richard Le Gallienne

“The difference between journalism and literature is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.” – Oscar Wilde

“When an opera singer sings her head off, she usually improves her appearance.” – Victor Borge

“The fastest way to a man’s heart is through his chest.” – Roseanne Arnold

“The power with her is that she lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech.” – George Bernard Shaw

“I know she is outspoken, but by who?” – Dorothy Parker

“You don’t know a woman, until you’ve met her in court.” – Norman Mailer

“Women are like elephants to me; they’re nice to look at, but I wouldn’t  want to own one.” – W.C. Fields

“Women have a passion for mathematics. They divide their age in half, double the price of their clothes, and always add at least five years to the age of their best friends.” – Marcel Achard

“A man without a woman is like a neck without a pain.” – Anonymous

“Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.”- Charlotte Whitton

“A man’s love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Adam came first, but men always do.” – Anonymous

“If they can put one man on the moon, why can’t they put them all there?” – Anonymous

“Women have their faults. Men have only two: Everything they say. Everything they do.” – Anonymous

“Japanese are extremely good imitators and they so polite, they even copy the mistakes.” – Earl Scrugge

“If you’re gong to Paris you would do well  to remember this: no matter how politely or distinctly you ask a Parisian a question he will persist in answering you in French.” – Fran Lebowits