Here is a selection of Neil Simon quotes from plays and writing taken from various sources.
Each of these quote comes with a link to its original source.
In other words, all the quotes are definitely authentic.
The King of comedy playwrights, Neil Simon wrote more than 30 plays and almost the same number of movie screenplays; mostly adaptations of his plays.
Neil Simon’s name was synonymous with Broadway comedy and commercial success in the theater for decades.
He had more than 30 plays mounted on Broadway, including four that ran simultaneously in 1966: “Sweet Charity,” “The Star-Spangled Girl,” “The Odd Couple” and “Barefoot in the Park.”
This iconic Broadway legend, Neil Simon helped redefine popular American humor, mainly about the frictions of urban living and the agonizing conflicts of family intimacy.
He received four Oscar nominations and 17 Tony nominations.
So far, he won three Tony Awards for Best Play: “The Odd Couple”, “Biloxi Blues” and “Lost In Yonkers”.
Mr. Simon also won a Pulitzer Prize for drama with “Lost in Yonkers” in 1991.
It is true what Clive Barnes, theater critic for The New York Times, wrote in the introduction of a book:
“Neil Simon is destined to remain rich, successful and underrated.”
(The Collected Plays Of Neil Simon, Volume 2, Plume: Reissue Edition, 1986, Introduction, P. 8)
On August 26, 2018, Broadway master of comedy, Neil Simon died at the age of 91, due to complications of pneumonia.
Neil Simon Quotes From Plays And Writing
Now, let’s pull back the curtain, and check out my selected authentic Neil Simon quotes with full citations.
Neil Simon Quotes On Writing
“…I always found the absurdity of how we live our lives, I always looked for the pain when I wrote about it.” – Neil Simon
“Intellect is sometimes the great denier and time is the great arbiter.” – Neil Simon
“…whether you are writing for the films or the stage, or whether you are writing a little poem for yourself – you still have to sit down at a typewriter and write it.” – Neil Simon
“The more you write, the more you learn.” – Neil Simon
“…”I don’t do it just to evoke a laugh from an audience. I do it also to show them how absurdly we all live our lives.” – Neil Simon
“Comedy writing to me is a defense mechanism; I can’t bear to see life as gloomy as it really is. I approach plays and life by laughing at the insanity of it all.” – Neil Simon
“…a writer without confidence is like a metaphor without something to compare itself to.” – Neil Simon
“Everyone thinks they can write a play; you just write down what happened to you. But the art of it is drawing from all the moments of your life.” – Neil Simon
“…all the success has demeaned me in a way. Critically, the thinking seems to be that if you write too many hits, they can’t be that good.” – Neil Simon
“Money brings some happiness. But after a certain point, it just brings more money.” – Neil Simon
“If you can go through life without ever experiencing pain you probably haven’t been born yet. And if you’ve gone through pain and think you know exactly why, you haven’t examined all the options.” – Neil Simon
“It was the lack of belief in myself. I said, This isn’t good enough. It’s not right. That doesn’t mean I believed I could make it better, but I felt I had to try.” – Neil Simon
“I’ve got infinitely more plays in the drawer than have seen the lights of the stage.” – Neil Simon
“Behavior is absolutely the most interesting thing I can write about. You put that behavior in conflict and you’re in business.” – Neil Simon
“I find that the writing of a memoir has two functions. One is to pass on, as much as you’re willing to tell, the facts and deeds of your life to those who might be a all interested. The other function is to discover a truth about yourself that you never had either the time or the courage to face before.” – Neil Simon
“In a sense, everything you write is autobiographical because it is going through your brain, so it comes out like litmus paper, it always catches some of who you are.” – Neil Simon
“In many quarters, to write comedy brings you popularity and success. To write drama brings you respect.” – Neil Simon
“Writers feel like a middleman, standing with pen in hand over the page. A force greater than me stands above telling me what to write. That may sound romantic, but that’s how it feels.” – Neil Simon
“Writing is an escape from a world that crowds me…I like being alone in a room. It’s almost a form of meditation – an investigation of my own life.” – Neil Simon
“I don’t think anyone gets writer’s block. I think fear takes over.” – Neil Simon
“I don’t think I could exist without writing.” – Neil Simon
“I don’t mind criticism. The idea is to read it or listen to it and then try to learn from it. All that I want is the mandate to keep on doing what I’m doing.” – Neil Simon
Neil Simon Quotes From Plays
“Her windows are so filthy, I thought she had black curtains hanging inside.” – Neil Simon
“Remember what Momma use to tell us. Stay on your own side of the street. That’s what they have gutters for.” – Neil Simon
“I love living, I have some problems with my life, but living is the best thing they’ve come up with so far.” – Neil Simon
“One should never underestimate the stimulation of eccentricity.” – Neil Simon
“I got brown sandwiches and green sandwiches… It’s either very new cheese or very old meat.” – Neil Simon
“Never have so many given so much for so long for so little for so few for so seldom.” – Neil Simon
“Once you start compromising your thoughts, you’re a candidate for mediocrity.” – Neil Simon