Albert Einstein humor quotations?
It sounds like an oxymoron to some of you.
We all know Albert Einstein is most known for his scientific achievement and the serious stuff about religion, politics, philosophy and education.
But, do you know there was a lighter and humorous side of Albert Einstein?
And he can be sarcastic too.
If you read his interviews and correspondences, you will discover that this iconic man of science is witty and had a great sense of humor.
Beware: There are lots of funny quotations which are attributed to Albert Einstein, that are definitely or probably NOT by him.
They are either misquotes or contextomies.
If you google for “Albert Einstein funny or humorous quotes”, and you are plagued with umpteen of questionable quotes credited to Einstein.
As usual all these so-called Albert Einstein witty and sarcastic remarks or quotations do not have any citation at all.
In other words, they do not provide the sources of the quotes.
Albert Einstein Humor Quotations
Here are authentic Albert Einstein humor quotes taken from various reliable sources.
“Why is it that nobody understands me, yet everybody likes me?” – Albert Einstein
(The Einstein Theory Of Living; At 65 He Leads The Simplest Of Lives — And Grapples With The Most Complex Thoughts Interviewed By Daniel Schwarz, New York Times, March 12, 1944, P. 16) source
“…the eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility. … The fact that it is comprehensible is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein
“Das ewige Geheimnis der Welt ist ihre Begreifbarkeit…Die Welt ist begreifbar, und dass sie es ist, ist ein Wunder.“ (German)
(Ideas And Opinions By Albert Einstein, Based On Mein Weltbild, Edited By Carl Seelig, And Other Sources, New Translations And Revisions By Sonja Bargmann, New York: Crown Publishers, Inc., 1954, Part V: Contributions To Science, Physics And Reality, 1. General Consideration Concerning The Method Of Science, P. 292)
(The quote in German is found in: Aus Meinen Späten Jahren By Albert Einstein, Stuttgart: Deutsche Verlag-Anstalt, 1952, Naturwissenschaft, 12. Physik und Realitä, Allgemeines über die wissenschaftliche Methode, P. 65)
Note: From The Journal of the Franklin Institute, Vol. 221, No. 3. March, 1936.
Note: This line has being popularly rephrased as: “The most incomprehensible thing about the universe is that it is comprehensible.”
“In the past it never occurred to me that every casual remark of mine would be snatched up and recorded. Otherwise I would have crept further into my shell.” – Albert Einstein
(Albert Einstein, The Human Side: Glimpses From His Archives, Edited By Helen Dukas And Banesh Hoffmann, With A New Foreword By Ze’ev Rosenkranz, Princeton University Press, 2013, Glimpses From His Archives, P. 22) source
Note: From the letter to German-Swiss writer Carl Seelig, October 25, 1953.
“…remember that the Capitol of mighty Rome was once saved by the cackling of its faithful geese.” – Albert Einstein
“…denkt daran, dass auch das Kapitol des mächtigen Rom einst durch das Geschnatter seiner treuen Gänse gerettet worden ist!” (German)
(Ideas And Opinions by Albert Einstein Based bn Mein Weltbild, Translated By Sonja Bargmann, New York: Crown Publishers, Inc., 1954, Pt. I: Ideas And Opinions, Reply To The Women Of America, PP. 7-8)
(The quote is also found in: The World As I See It by Albert Einstein, translated By Alan Harris, Book Tree, 2007, Part I: The World As I See It, Reply To The Women Of America, P. 42)
(The quote in German is found in: Mein Weltbild. Hrsg. Von Carl Seelig, Zurich: Europa Verlag, 1953, P. 56) source
“I am only getting more stupid with fame, which is a quite common phenomenon.” – Albert Einstein
“Ich werde nämlich mit der Berühmtheit immer dümmer, was ja eine ganz gewöhnliche Erscheinung ist.” (German)
(The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 9: The Berlin Years: Correspondence, January 1919-April 1920 (English translation supplement), Translated By Ann Hentschel, Doc. 234, To Heinrich Zangger, Berlin, Christmas Eve. 24 December 1919, P. 198) source
(The quote in German is found in: The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 9: The Berlin Years: Correspondence, January 1919-April 1920, Edited By Diana Kormos Buchwald, Robert Schulmann, József Illy, Daniel J. Kennefick, & Tilman Saue, Doc. 233, To Heinrich Zangger, Berlin, Weihnachtsaben. 24 December 1919, P. 326) source
Note: From the letter to Heinrich Zangger, a professor of physiology at the University of Zürich, December 24, 1919.
“In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.” – Albert Einstein
“Um ein tadelloses Mitglied einer Schafherde sein zu können, muss man vor allem selbst ein Schaf sein.” (German)
(Ideas And Opinions By Albert Einstein, Based On Mein Weltbild, Edited By Carl Seelig, And Other Sources, New Translations And Revisions By Sonja Bargmann, New York: Crown Publishers, Inc., 1954, Part I: Ideas And Opinions, Aphorisms For Leo Baeck, From The Two-Volume Commemorative Publication In honor Of The Eightieth Birthday Of Leo Baeck, May 23, 1953, P. 28)
(The quote in German is found in: Mein Weltbild Von Albert Einstein, Herausgegeben Von Carl Seelig, Berlin: Ullstein-Taschenbuch-Verlag 2005, IV, Aphorismen Für Leo Baeck, P. 106) source
“Whoever undertakes to set himself up as judge in the field of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods.” – Albert Einstein
“Wer es unternimmt, auf dem Gebiet der Wahrheit und der Erkenntnis als Autoritat aufzutreten, scheitert am Gelachter der Gotter.” (German)
(Ideas And Opinions By Albert Einstein, Based On Mein Weltbild, Edited By Carl Seelig, And Other Sources, New Translations And Revisions By Sonja Bargmann, New York: Crown Publishers, Inc., 1954, Part I: Ideas And Opinions, Aphorisms For Leo Baeck, From The Two-Volume Commemorative Publication In honor Of The Eightieth Birthday Of Leo Baeck, May 23, 1953, P. 28)
(The quote in German is found in: Mein Weltbild Von Albert Einstein, Herausgegeben Von Carl Seelig, Berlin: Ullstein-Taschenbuch-Verlag 2005, IV, Aphorismen Für Leo Baeck, P. 106)
(The quote in German is also found in: Mein Weltbild. Hrsg. Von Carl Seelig, Zurich: Europa Verlag, 1953, Aphorismen Für Leo Baeck, P. 138)
Note: You can get the free “Mein Weltbild” here.
“Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else – unless it is an enemy.” – Albert Einstein
“Der Mensch vermeidet es gewöhnlich, einem andern Klugheit zuzuschreiben – wenn es sich nicht etwa um einen Feind handelt.” (German)
(Ideas And Opinions By Albert Einstein, Based On Mein Weltbild, Edited By Carl Seelig, And Other Sources, New Translations And Revisions By Sonja Bargmann, New York: Crown Publishers, Inc., 1954, Part I: Ideas And Opinions, Aphorisms For Leo Baeck, From The Two-Volume Commemorative Publication In honor Of The Eightieth Birthday Of Leo Baeck, May 23, 1953, P. 28)
(The quote in German is found in: Mein Weltbild Von Albert Einstein, Herausgegeben Von Carl Seelig, Berlin: Ullstein-Taschenbuch-Verlag 2005, IV, Aphorismen Für Leo Baeck, P. 105)
(The quote in German is also found in: Mein Weltbild. Hrsg. Von Carl Seelig, Zurich: Europa Verlag, 1953, Aphorismen Für Leo Baeck, P. 137)
“The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of consistency.” – Albert Einstein
“Die Majorität der Dummen ist unüberwindbar und für alle Zeiten gesichert. Der Schrecken ihrer Tyrannei ist indessen gemildert durch Mangel an Konsequenz.” (German)
(Ideas And Opinions By Albert Einstein, Based On Mein Weltbild, Edited By Carl Seelig, And Other Sources, New Translations And Revisions By Sonja Bargmann, New York: Crown Publishers, Inc., 1954, Part I: Ideas And Opinions, Aphorisms For Leo Baeck, From The Two-Volume Commemorative Publication In honor Of The Eightieth Birthday Of Leo Baeck, May 23, 1953, P. 28)
(The quote in German is found in: Mein Weltbild Von Albert Einstein, Herausgegeben Von Carl Seelig, Berlin: Ullstein-Taschenbuch-Verlag 2005, IV, Aphorismen Für Leo Baeck, P. 105)
(The quote in German is also found in: Mein Weltbild. Hrsg. Von Carl Seelig, Zurich: Europa Verlag, 1953, Aphorismen Für Leo Baeck, P. 138)
“To punish me for my contempt of authority, Fate has made me an authority myself.” – Albert Einstein
“Zur Strafe für meine Autorität Verachtung hat mich das Schicksal selbst zu einer Autorität gemacht.” (German)
(The Ultimate Quotable Einstein Collected And Edited By Alice Calaprice, With A Foreword By Freeman Dyson, Princeton University Press, 2010, On Enstein Himself, P. 12) source
Note: Aphorism for a friend, September 18, 1930
“Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices and courageously uses his intelligence.” – Albert Einstein
“Große Geister haben stets heftige Gegnerschaft in den Mittelmäßigen gefunden. Diese Letzteren können es nicht verstehen, wenn ein Mensch sich nicht gedankenlos ererbten Vorurteilen unterwirft, sondern ehrlich und mutig seine Intelligenz gebraucht und die Pflicht erfüllt, die Ergebnisse seines Denkens in klarer Form auszusprechen.” (German)
(Bertrand Russell’s America: 1896-1945, Edited By Barry Feinberg & Ronald Kasrils, New York: Viking Press, 1974, P. 143) source
(The quote is also found in: Why I Am Not A Christian And Other Essays On Religion And Related Subjects By Bertrand Russell, Routledge Classics Edition, 2004, Appendix, How Bertrand Russell Was Prevented From Teaching At The College Of the City Of New York, III, P.173)
(Another source of the quote is found here.)
Note: Letter to Morris Raphael Cohen, professor emeritus of philosophy at the College of the City of New York, defending the appointment of Bertrand Russell to a teaching position, 19 March 1940)
Article about Bertrand Russell unwelcome to teach in New York.
Here is another article about Bertrand Russell Case.
“Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.” – Albert Einstein
“Wenige sind imstande, von den Vorurteilen der Umgebung abweichende Meinungen gelassen auszusprechen; die meisten sind sogar unfähig, überhaupt zu solchen Meinungen zu gelangen.” (German)
(Ideas And Opinions By Albert Einstein, Based On Mein Weltbild, Edited By Carl Seelig, And Other Sources, New Translations And Revisions By Sonja Bargmann, New York: Crown Publishers, Inc., 1954, Part I: Ideas And Opinions, Aphorisms For Leo Baeck, From The Two-Volume Commemorative Publication In honor Of The Eightieth Birthday Of Leo Baeck, May 23, 1953, P. 28)
(The quote in German is found in: Mein Weltbild Von Albert Einstein, Herausgegeben Von Carl Seelig, Berlin: Ullstein-Taschenbuch-Verlag 2005, IV, Aphorismen Für Leo Baeck, P. 105) source
(The quote in German is also found in: Mein Weltbild. Hrsg. Von Carl Seelig, Zurich: Europa Verlag, 1953, Aphorismen Für Leo Baec, P. 137-138) source
“It is really a puzzle what drives one to take one’s work so devilishly seriously.” – Albert Einstein
(Albert Einstein, The Human Side: Glimpses From His Archives, Edited By Helen Dukas And Banesh Hoffmann, With A New Foreword By Ze’ev Rosenkranz, Princeton University Press, 2013, P. 102) source
Note: From the letter to artist Josef Scharl, December 27, 1949.
“I am a determinist . As such, I do not believe in free will.” – Albert Einstein
(What Life Means To Einstein: An Interview By George Sylvester Viereck, The Contemporary Great, The Saturday Evening Post, October 26, 1929, P. 114) source
“If… I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.” – Albert Einstein
(What Life Means To Einstein: An Interview By George Sylvester Viereck, Saturday Evening Post, October 26, 1929, Our Intellectual Democracy, P. 113) source
“A happy man is too satisfied with the present to think too much about the future.” – Albert Einstein
“Un homme heureux et trop content de la présence pour penser beaucoup à l’avenir.” (French)
(The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 1: The Early Years, 1879-1902 (English Translation Supplement), Translated By Anna Beck, Doc. 22, Matura Examination (B) French: “My Future Plans”, 18 September, 1896, Mes Projets D’Avenir, P. 15) source
(The quote in German is found in: The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 1: The Early Years, 1879-1902, Edited By John Stachel, David C. Cassidy, and Robert Schulmann, Doc. 22, Matura Examination (B) French: “My Future Plans”, 18 September, 1896, P. 28) source
Note: From a school essay titled “My Plan For The Future.” (Mes projets d’avenir) written in French by then 17-year old Einstein (September 18, 1896) during his final exams at the Aargau Canton School in Aarau, Switzerland.
“It is difficult to say what truth is, but sometimes it is so easy to recognize a falsehood.” – Albert Einstein
“Es lässt sich schwer sagen, was Wahrheit ist, aber manchmal ist es so einfach, eine Lüge aufzudecken.” (German)
(The Ultimate Quotable Einstein Collected And Edited By Alice Calaprice, With A Foreword By Freeman Dyson, Princeton University Press, 2010, On Enstein Himself, P. 453)
Note: From the letter to Jeremiah McGuire, October 24, 1953. AEA 60-483
“There have already been published by the bucketsful such brazen lies and utter fictions about me that I would long since have gone to my grave if I had allowed myself to pay attention to them.” – Albert Einstein
(The Ultimate Quotable Einstein Collected And Edited By Alice Calaprice, With A Foreword By Freeman Dyson, Princeton University Press, 2010, On Einstein Himself, P. 19) source
Note: From the letter to writer Max Brod, February 22, 1949.
“You pinch me with your letter but stroke me with goose cracklings.” – Albert Einstein
“Du zwickst mich mit Deinem Brief, aber Du streichelst mich mit Gansgrieben.” (German)
(The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 5, The Swiss Years: Correspondence, 1902-1914 (English Translation Supplement), Translated by Anna Beck, Doc. 488, To Elsa Löwenthal, Zurich, Before 2 December 1913, P. 364) source
(The quote in French is found in: The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 5, The Swiss Years: Correspondence, 1902-1914, Edited by Martin J. Klein, A. J. Kox, and Robert Schulmann, Doc. 488, To Elsa Löwenthal, Zurich, Before 2 December 1913, P. 572) source
“…if I were to start taking care of my grooming, I would no longer be my own self.” – Albert Einstein
“…wenn ich anfange, mich körperlich zu pflegen, dann bin ich nicht mehr ich selber.” (German)
(The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 5, The Swiss Years: Correspondence, 1902-1914 (English Translation Supplement), Translated by Anna Beck, Doc. 489,490, To Elsa Löwenthal, Zurich, 2 December 1913, P. 366) source
(The quote in French is found in: The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 5, The Swiss Years: Correspondence, 1902-1914, Edited by Martin J. Klein, A. J. Kox, and Robert Schulmann, Doc. 489, To Elsa Löwenthal, Zurich, 2 December 1913, P. 574) source
Note: From the letter to Elsa Löwenthal, his second wife, December 2, 1913
“She [first wife, Mileva is an unfriendly, humorless creature who does not get anything out of life and who, by her mere presence, extinguishes other people’s joy of living (malocchio!)” – Albert Einstein
“Sie ist eine unfreundliche humorlose Kreatur, die selbst nichts vom Leben hat und anderer Freude am Leben durch ihre blosse Anwesenheit untergräbt (malocchio!).” (German)
(The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 5, The Swiss Years: Correspondence, 1902-1914 (English Translation Supplement), Translated by Anna Beck, Doc. 489, Zurich, To Elsa Löwenthal, 2 December 1913, P. 365) source
(The quote in French is found in: The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 5, The Swiss Years: Correspondence, 1902-1914, Edited by Martin J. Klein, A. J. Kox, and Robert Schulmann, Doc. 489, To Elsa Löwenthal. Zurich, 2 December 1913, P. 574) source
Note: From the letter to Elsa Löwenthal, his second wife, December 2, 1913.
“Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do – but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it.” – Albert Einstein
“Sich verlieben ist gar nicht das Dümmeste, was der Mensch tut – die Gravitation kann aber nicht dafür verantwortlich gemacht werden.” (German)
(Albert Einstein, The Human Side: New Glimpses From His Archives Selected And Edited By Helen Dukas & Banesh Hoffmann, Princeton University Press, 1981, P. 56)
(The quote in German is found .)
“The more successes the quantum theory enjoys, the more stupid it looks.” – Albert Einstein
“Je mehr Erfolge die Quantentheorie hat, desto dümmer sieht sie aus.” (German)
(The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 5, The Swiss Years: Correspondence, 1902-1914 (English Translation Supplement), Translated By Anna Beck, Doc. 398, To Heinrich Zangger, Prague, 20 May 1912, P. 299) source
(The quote in German is found in: The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 5, The Swiss Years: Correspondence, 1902-1914, Edited by Martin J. Klein, A. J. Kox, and Robert Schulmann, Doc. 398, To Heinrich Zangger, Prague, 20 May 1912, P. 467) source
Note: From the letter to Heinrich Zangger, May 20, 1912
“Truly novel inventions only come during one’ youth; later one becomes ever more experienced, renowned and blockheaded.” – Albert Einstein
“Wirklich Neues erfindet man nur in der Jugend; später wird man immer erfahrener, berühmter und-dümmer.” (German)
(The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 8, The Berlin Years: Correspondence, 1914-1918 (English Translation Supplement), Translated by Ann M. Hentschel, Doc. 403, To Heinrich Zangger, Berlin, 6 December 1917, P. 412) source
(The German quote is found in: The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 8, Part A: The Berlin Years: Correspondence, 1914-1917, Edited by Robert Schulmann, A. J. Kox, Michel Janssen, and József Illy, Doc. 403, To Heinrich Zangger, Berlin, 6 XII 17, P. 561) source
Note: From the letter to Heinrich Zangger, December 6, 1917.
“I only wrote a tiny book about my Theory of Relativity, and it brought about a scientific revolution.” – Albert Eisntein
(The Princeton University Library Chronicle, Volume 65, Issues 1-3, Friends Of The Princeton University Library, 2004, P. 62) source
(The quote is also found in: Newly Discovered Diary Chronicles Einstein’s Last Years By Steven Schultz, Princeton Weekly Bulletin, Vol. 93, No. 25, April 26, 2004) source
“Do not worry about your difficulties in mathematics; I can assure you that mine are still greater.” – Albert Einstein
“Mach’ dir keine Sorgen wegen deiner Schwierigkeiten mit der Mathematik. Ich kann dir versichern, dass meine noch größer sind.” (German)
(Dear Professor Einstein: Albert Einstein’s Letters To And From Children By Albert Einstein, Edited By Alice Calaprice, New York: Prometheus Books, 2002, P. 140) source
Note: From the letter to a child, Barbara Lee Wilson, January 7 1943.
“My life is a simple thing that would interest no one. It is a known fact that I was born, and that is all that is necessary.” – Albert Einstein
(Einstein: A Life By Denis Brian, US: John Wiley, 20 Apr 1996, P. 276)
Note: From the school’s newspaper, The Tower, Interviewed By Henry Russo, a Princeton (New Jersey) High School reporter, April 13, 1935.
“Marriage is the unsuccessful attempt to make something lasting out of an incident.” – Albert Einstein
(Einstein In America: The Scientist’s Conscience In The Age Of Hitler And Hiroshima By Jamie Sayen, New York: Crown Publishing Group, 1985, P. 80) source
Note: Quoted by economist Dr. Otto Nathan who served as executor and co-trustee of the estate of Albert Einstein, April 10 1982.
“Pipe smoking contributes to a somewhat calm and objective judgement of human affairs.” – Albert Einstein
“Pfeifenrauchen trägt zu einem besonders ruhigen und objektiven Urteil in allen menschlichen Angelegenheiten bei.” (German)
(Einstein Joins Pipe Club, The New York Times, March 12, 1950, P. 23) source
(The quote in German is found in: Im Blauen Dunst: Eine Kulturgeschichte Des Rauchens Georg Böse Stuttgart: Deutsche Verlags-Anstalt, 1957, P. 116) source
Note: From the remark, Einstein wrote to the president of Montreal Pipe Smokers Club, when he was accepted as a life membership in 1950.
“The only salvation is a sense of humor, and we will keep that as long as we still draw breath.” – Albert Einstein
(Albert Einstein, The Human Side: New Glimpses From His Archives Selected And Edited By Helen Dukas & Banesh Hoffmann, Princeton University Press, 1981, P. 80) source
Note: From the letter to Dr. Otto Juliusburger, a psychiatrist, August 2, 1941.
“An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove seems like an hour.” – Albert Einstein
(Einstein In America: The Scientist’s Conscience In The Age Of Hitler And Hiroshima By Jamie Sayen, Crown Publishing Group, 1985, P. 130) source
Note: The earliest version of this quote (though not directly mentioned by Einstein, and the phrase is “nice girl” instead of “pretty girl” ) is:
“When you sit with a nice girl for two hours you think it’s only a minute, but when you sit on a hot stove for a minute you think it’s two hours. That’s relativity.”
(Einstein Is Found Hiding On Birthday: Busy With Gift Microscope, New York Times, March 15, 1929, P. 3) source
(The same quote is also found in: Mount Carmel Item, Odds and Ends, Mount Carmel, Pennsylvania, Thursday, July 18, 1929, P. 2) source
“I am a deeply religious nonbeliever…This is a somewhat new kind of religion.” – Albert Einstein
“Man wird zum tief religiösen Ungläubigen…Dies ist eine einigermaßen neue Art von Religion.” (German)
(Einstein: His Life And Universe By Walter Isaacson, Simon and Schuster, 2007, Ch. Twenty-Five, The End 1955, Intimations Of Mortality, P. 536) source
(Another source of the quote is found here.)
(The quote in German is found in: Helle Zeit – Dunkle Zeit: In Memoriam Albert Einstein By Carl Seelig, Mit Einleitenden Bemerkungen Zur Neuausgabe Von Karl Von Meyenn, Berlin: Springer-Verlag, 2013, P. 58) source
(The quote in German is also found in: Fast jeder Brief von Ihnen beginnt mit der Bemerkung, dass Sie schon so lange, Holzapfel, Mühsam [Muehsam], Hans (Receiver), Archival Call Number: 38-434, 1954-03-30, Einstein Archives Online) source
Note: From the letter to Hans Muehsam, March 30, 1954.
“Subtle is the Lord, but malicious He is not.” – Albert Einstein
“Raffiniert ist der Herrgott, aber boshaft ist er nicht.” (German)
(Subtle Is The Lord: The Science And The Life Of Albert Einstein By Abraham Pais, Foreword, Oxford University Press, 2005) source
(The quote in German is found in: Subtle Is The Lord: The Science And The Life Of Albert Einstein By Abraham Pais, Foreword, Oxford University Press, 2005. P. vi) source
Note: From the remark made by Einstein during his first visit to Princeton University, April 1921.
As you know, when Einstein used the term ‘God‘ or ‘Lord‘ or ‘Him“, he did not mean the traditional western notion of a supernatural god.
Basically he meant Nature.
When asked what he meant by the above quote, Einstein replied.
“Nature hides her secret because of her essential loftiness, but not by means of ruse.” – Albert Einstein
“Die Natur verbirgt ihr Geheimnis durch die Erhabenheit ihres Wesens, aber nicht durch List.” (German)
(Einstein In America: The Scientist’s Conscience In The Age Of Hitler And Hiroshima By Jamie Sayen, New York: Crown Publishing Group, 1985, P. 51) source
(The quote in German & English is found in: ‘Subtle Is The Lord…’: The Science and the Life Of Albert Einstein, With A New Foreword By Sir Roger Penrose, By Abraham Pais, Oxford University Press, 2005) source
“If A is success in life, then A =x + y + z. Work is x, play is y, and z is keeping your mouth shut.” – Albert Einstein
“Wenn A für Erfolg steht, gilt die Formel A=X+Y+Z. X ist Arbeit, Y ist Muße und Z heißt Mundhalten.” (German)
(EINSTEIN’S OWN CORNER OF SPACE; In a Prosaic Flat in a Prosaic District of Berlin the Mathematical Philosopher Receives an American Visitor Affably and Gives Him a Simple Algebraic Formula for Success in Life By S.J. Woolf, The New York Times Magazine, August 18, 1929, P. SM2) source
(The quote is also found in: Success In Life: Einstein’s Formula By R.A. Thompson, Sydney, New South Wales, Australia, P. 5) source
Note: Einstein said this remark to Samuel J. Woolf in Berlin, Summer 1929.
“When a blind beetle crawls over the surface of a curved branch, it doesn’t notice that the track it has covered is indeed curved. I was lucky enough to notice what the beetle didn’t notice.” – Albert Einstein
“Siehst du, wenn ein blinder Käfer über die Oberfläche einer Kugel krabbelt, merkt er nicht, dass der Weg, den er zurücklegt, gekrümmt ist. Ich hingegen hatte das Glück, es zu merken.” (German)
(Einstein: His Life and Universe By Walter Isaacson, New York: Simon and Schuster, 2007, Ch. Nine, General Relativity 1911-1915, The Math, P. 196) source
(The quote in German is found in: Albert Einstein In Bern: Das Ringen Um Ein Neues Weltbild By Max Flückiger, Berlin: Paul Haupt, 1974, P. 100) source
Note: Answer to his son Eduard’s question about why he was so famous, 1922.
“I just see with great dismay that God punishes so many of His children for their ample folly, for which obviously only He Himself can be held responsible; I think, His nonexistence alone can excuse Him.” – Albert Einstein
“Ich sehe nur mit viel Be- dauern, dass Gott so viele seiner Kinder straft für deren reichliche Thorheit, für die doch nur er selbst verantwortlich gemacht werden kann; ich finde, dass ihn nur die Nichtexistenz entschuldigen kann.” (German)
(The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 8: The Berlin Years: Correspondence, 1914-1918 (English Translation Supplement), Translated By Ann M. Hentschel, Doc. 44,45, To Edgar Meyer, Berlin, 2 January 1915, P. 57) source
(The quote in German is found in: The Collected Papers Of Albert Einstein, Volume 8, Part A: The Berlin Years: Correspondence, 1914-1917, Edited by Robert Schulmann, A. J. Kox, Michel Janssen, and József Illy, Doc. 44, To Edgar Meyer, Berlin, 2.1.15, P. 76) source
Note: From the letter to Edgar Meyer, a Swiss colleague, January 2, 1915
“Before God we are relatively all equally wise – equally foolish.” – Albert Einstein
(Einstein On Cosmic Religion And Other Opinions And Aphorisms By Albert Einstein, With An Appreciation By George Bernard Shaw, P. 53)
“I do not accept a religion of fear; My God will not hold me responsible for the actions that necessity imposes.” – Albert Einstein
(Einstein And The Poet: In Search Of The Cosmic Man By William Hermanns, Brookline Village, MA: Branden Press, 1983, Third Conversation (1948), P. 89) source
“If God created the world, his primary concern was certainly not to make its understanding easy for us.” – Albert Einstein
“Falls Gott die Welt geschaffen hat, war seine Hauptsorge sicher nicht, sie so zu machen, dass wir sie verstehen können.” (German)
(The Ultimate Quotable Einstein Collected And Edited By Alice Calaprice, With A Foreword By Freeman Dyson, Princeton University Press, 2010, On Religion, God, And Philosophy, P. 342) source
Note: From the letter to American physicist David Bohm, February 10, 1954.
“I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own — a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty.” – Albert Einstein
(Living Philosophies, By Albert Einstein, Cleveland: World Publishing Company, 1941, P. 6) source
(The quote is also found in: Living Philosophies By Albert Einstein, , Bertrand Russell, John Dewey, R.A. Millikan, Theodore Dreiser, H. G. Wells, Fridtjof Nansen, Sir James Jeans, Irving Babbitt, Sir Arthur Keith, J.T. Adams, H.L. Mencken, Julia Peterkin, Lewis Mumford, Robert Andrews Millikan, Hu Shih, Hilaire Belloc, J.B.S. Haldane, George Jean Nathan, Irwin Edman, Bertrand Russell, William Ralphinge, New York: Simon and Schuster, 1931) source
(Another source of the quote is found here.)
“Man’s plight would, indeed, be sad if he had to be kept in order through fear of punishment and hope of rewards after death.” – Albert Einstein
(Religion And Science By Professor Albert Einstein, New York Times Magazine, November 9, 1930) source
Note: All the above Albert Einstein humor quotes are taken from authentic and reliable sources.
*Here is another collection of authentic Albert Einstein view on aging quotes.